|
Alan Greenspan |
God.
|
|
Bear Market |
A 6
to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no
jewelry and the husband gets no sex. |
|
Bill Gates |
Where God goes for a loan. |
|
Bull Market |
A
random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a
financial genius. |
|
Call Option |
Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before
e-mail. |
|
Cash Flow |
The
movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. |
|
Day Trader |
Someone who is disloyal from 9-5. |
|
Financial Planner |
A
guy who says to client: I've reviewed your financial picture, and if we
manage your money properly, there should be plenty for both of us. |
|
Institutional Investor |
Past
year investor who's now locked up in a nut house. |
|
Investing
Methods |
Find numerous other
financial and investing management models, methods and theories
explained here |
| Long Term
Investment |
Short Term Investment
that failed. |
| Market
Analyst |
An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday
didn't happen today. |
|
Market Correction |
The
day after you buy stocks. |
|
Microsoft |
A
condition temporarily remedied by Viagra. |
|
Momentum Investing |
The
fine art of buying high and selling low. |
|
P/E Ratio |
The
percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps
crashing. |
|
Profit |
Religious guy who talks to God. |
|
Stock Analyst |
Idiot who just downgraded your stock. |
|
Stock Split |
When
your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between
themselves. |
|
Value Investing |
The
art of buying low and selling lower. |
